The Aries type is the most personal of the Fire signs, and it is often seen as selfish. Aries people are not selfish on purpose, but they tend to be thoughtless. They pursue their own interests with enthusiasm and seldom realize that what they are doing might overwhelm or hurt another individual. If this is pointed out to Aries, they will be hurt and usually
defensive. After giving some thought to the situation, they'll
probably apologize.
When
Aries discover they have hurt or disregarded someone, they are
often filled with remorse.
It's a combination of idealism and enthusiasm. As Aries people
mature, they begin out of
necessity to cultivate patience in order to lessen the hurt feelings
around them.
Aries usually say 'no' to anything suggested to them at the time
the suggestion is made.
But the saving grace of the Aries is that they do go away and
think about what you've
said, and eventually you'll see that they adopt your suggestions,
if those suggestions are
good. Aries are always in a hurry, rushing into the future looking
to accomplish
something - and they don't always know what that mysterious
'something' is. They are
trained at an early age to react to accomplishment because Daddy
thinks it's important.
The father may not accomplish anything in the world's definition
of the word, but it must
be kept in mind that a child's perception of adult behavior may be
very different from an
adult's.
The Aries child may have a parent who either talks about
accomplishment or feels guilty
when enough isn't being done around the home; Aries may also have
a parent who
actually is an accomplishment-oriented individual. These children
tend to be born to
parents who 'worry' about accomplishment. The father of the Aries
child is a man who
seems to be respected or idealized for his work. He may only be a
laborer, but he is good
at his job. He may also be unhappy; if he is a laborer and he
wants to be a businessman,
for example, he may retreat into the power plays that frustrated
people choose in order
to express his discomfort. When the Aries child is small, Daddy
comes home either as a
'big deal' or as a tyrant; and, depending on the particular father
type, the child will
develop his own behavior pattern accordingly.
The mother is seen as a service figure - it isn't that the Aries
child hates the mother, but
the mother-figure is someone who provides a service. In the case
of the father-tyrant, the
Aries sees the mother as a 'poor, frightened creature' who stays
in a difficult marriage
because she doesn't know how to change her circumstances. The
Aries child may be
defensive of the mother; may take Mom's side in quarrels between
Mom and Dad, and
will try to help the mother as soon as Aries is old enough to
provide emotional or financial
support. However, the mother gets more pity and compassion than
love from this child -
and aries will in some way, as an adult, emulate the father's
position.
This is the way it works: the Aries male is often uncomfortable
about his love for his
mother - he may care for Mom more than the Aries female does. He
may think that he's
too close to Mom emotionally; perhaps too much like her as far as
his emotional reactions
are concerned. If this is the case, he may avoid her as he becomes
an adult. He wants to
be as much like his father as possible. Emotional closeness to his
mother usually doesn't
enhance his self-image. The Fire sign person has some natural
confusion about sexuality -
for them, sex includes ideals as well as action and feeling. The
idealistic types feel a bit
embarrassed about sexuality, so the Aries male tends to treat
women like little girls or
daughters - and he plays the father. It may be that when his
personality was forming, he saw his father treat his mother like a little girl.
It is not uncommon for the mother of an
Aries child to call her husband 'Father' during the child's
formative years.
The Aries male has an image of Woman that combines Lolita with the
maids in King
Arthur's court. he wants a genteel woman who doesn't swear, who
presents herself like a
little lady, who doesn't confront him; and he's generally a male
chauvinist as a young
man. The youthful innocent he is pursuing must also fit his anima
image - a long-tressed
damsel in distress. He gets easily disappointed in love situations
because he tends to pick
the Cancer type femals for a partner. She often turns out to be
much stronger than she
looks; he then finds he has toruble running the relationship. He
is not really sure of
himself in romantic situations - or in relationship situations in
general. His Fire sign
idealism tries to maintain a courtship throughout a love
relationship because that's what
he thinks love is. As soon as he sees hair curlers or has to work
through a problem that
requires some kind of compromise, the 'romance' is not as
wonderful as it once was.
The Aries female has compassion for her mother - but she vows
never to put herself into
the same situation that her mother is on. She doesn't want her
mother's career, or her
mother's kind of marriage. She may be so father-dominated (through
either love or hate)
that she actually ends up being a 'better man' than most men. In
other words, it's
important to the Aries woman that she acts like a 'man' and not
like a 'woman' - that she
be 'rational' rather than 'emotional'. When she marries, she often
marries a childish man
so that she is, in essence, the head of the household... like
Daddy.
She tries to prove herself by doing everything well; she therefore
has difficulty letting her
partner do anything. It's easy to fall into the trap, for the
Aries female can't stand to
watch a man do a chore the hard way - so she does it for him.
Sooner or later she notices
that he isn't doing anything - since she has done everything so
well, why should he?
Ultimately, some event occurs that is so stressful to her that she
falls apart and has no-
one to help her out of her dilemma because her man doesn't realize
that she really needs
help. She can be so overpowering in her identification with
'fatherdom' that she runs
away from all the mature folks and winds up loving people who need
to be saved.
This is exemplified in the positive sign female who has an
overdose of the masculine
principle within her system and within her environment. When this
principle is not
understood, both the personal life and the career can be affected
by this
misunderstanding. The misunderstood masculine principle causes one
to imitate
culturally definied 'masculine' behavior. It is possible for an
Aries female to develop a
career, to develop her mind, and to find enjoyable and creative
outlets for expression
when she understands what kind of energy she is blessed with.
Jung's definition of the
'animus' may give a better understanding of the problem. The
positive sign female
unconsciously lends more credence to the animus, and thereby loses
a part of her sense
of feminine values. When a woman has no real sense of the feminine
within herself - that
is, she doesn't think women are worth much - she often tries to be
what she considers
'manly'. This has nothing to do with homosexuality; it merely
indicates the kind of
hardness that can be involved in developing the personality.
Aries women can be extremely competitive with their fathers later
in life; they can
unconsciously illustrate the strength of the mythic Father image.
For example, when an
Aries female is involved with family situations, she often tries
to outdo her father. She
may even try to take away her father's position in his marriage. A
case in point is an Aries
female who rushed into the middle of her parents' marriage at a
time when the mother
was critically ill. The father wanted to do one thing; the
daughter wanted to do another.
The daughter didn't ask her mother what she wanted in terms of
therapy. Instead, Aries
took over the solution of the problem. The moral of the story is
that she was trying to be
'a better man' to her mother than her father was. Of course, this
attitude alienated
everyone in the family and poor Aries couldn't understand why.
When Aries don't understand their energy; when they don't
understand what motivates
them to action, their wonderful Aries ideas can be wasted because
they may not be presented in an acceptable manner. The Aries female, in her
quest for being helpful to
others, may push ideas on people when they aren't ready to accept
those ideas, or when
those ideas haven't been asked for.
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